more 4x pix from oct.

Just a new pic of me.

Taken today.

Today was a good day

I got to say something I have been wanting to say and got the answer I wanted to hear, im glad because I don’t know what I would have said or done had it been different than it was.
If you read this regularly you know that in January I was baptized. I believe that The Lord God is the only God that he gave his son Jesus so that we may one day live an eternal life with him. But I have been having a hard time with some things for a very long time. , I have wondered why god lets us suffer so much, why does he allow your life’s greatest love to be killed, why does he take peoples children to live with him to soon, why does he give a young mom with 2 babies cancer, why does he take our Fathers, Aunts, uncles and grandparents when we still have so much to learn from them. Why does he want us to suffer? Well I have the answer for that. he lets us suffer so that we will come to him, believe in his awesome power and know that he is the almighty, so we know that he loves us and will never leave us.
The past month I have been praying for strength to go forward and strength to forgive and strength to love. I thought he hadn’t heard me, that he wasn’t listening or that he didn’t care, all of this is untrue. He cares more than anyone. And he always will. I am here to tell you he does listen and he does answer our prayers. For the past 11 years I have been praying for the same thing, and this week he finally answered me. I have come to understand that he will answer you when you are ready, not just in your head but in your heart. If you pray for strength to do something you may have to wait but do not be fearful that he has forgotten you, he hasn’t. You just are not ready yet.
So I will continue to pray for strength to go forward and strength to forgive and strength to love.
I will surround myself with people who are also surrounded by God’s great love; I will be patient with God. I will love and respect myself and I will love and respect God.
He does answer and he does care.

I found a piece of paper I wrote some verses on in May of 2000, for me 2000 was a time of pain and desperation. A time I was not sure I would get through, but god was there for me, holding me up. He knew that times would get worse that in 2001 I would loose the love of my life to tragedy, that the road ahead would be painful and hard, but through patience and faith I would get through.
This is one of those verses that I want to share with you.

Luke 21:2; In your Patients ye shall win your souls.

the girls

in case you are wondering who i spend so much time with knitting.. these are the girls at my yarn shop. Back row left to right; Peggy, Rhea, Carrie Front row; Debbie & Marcy and amanda behind the camera!

4x pics

Some of you wanted to see pictures of the last time we went out (may), so here you go! I think there is probably some mud somewhere inside i know it was everywhere, we should have take a piture before washing it!! going again this month on the 11th so i am sure there will be some good ones especially with the rain we have been finally getting.
enjoy.


was stuck in this you will see the pics below.




Knee deep in mud soup!

caught some air!

reflection

Ive been doing alot of thinking lately about my life, the ways things have gone or not gone.

There are some things i have done that of course i regret some things that i know i have missed out of, poeple i wish i would have gotten to know better and relationship wounds it would have been nice to heal but its to late. the biggest one for me is the relationship with my father, we have never gotten along. in fact he has called me a looser and a disapointment. if you have read any of my prevoius blogs on blogspot you know how i feel about that so i wont go over it again.

a couple of months ago i made a comment about my dad getting cancer, how one day he would die from it and the family would be better off. of course i didnt mean it, but now that he actually has cancer and has been considering not getting treatment for it, i am mourning the loss of the relationship we should have had.

then there is my kids, matthew and samantha most because i know they are missing out on alot of things, and i wish they would allow me to do more for them. with my dads health i am sure that will soon be changing. and then there are my friendships most of the people who call themselves my friends ar not truely my friends, i would never call them up to complain about my life because thats not what they want to hear from me. yes i have girlfriends but i dont let them in, i keep it to knitting, playgroups and other things that dont get to personal but you can still laugh with them and have a good time. then finally we get to past relationships. i know i have not always mae the right choices and I have those people who will always have a place in my heart, who i could never hate, even though there was a time i was hurt or mad, those people gave me something wonderfull.

Through all of this I have been looking to God for direction, strength, and support. He has proven Himself faithful again and again. Here are some verses that have really encouraged and directed me at this time.



Matt 7:7-11

7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

9 "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
NIV

Phil 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
NIV



Rom 12:2-3
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-His good, pleasing and perfect will.

3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.
NIV



I see life as a journey. I don't have the answers or the map. God does. He is my guide and I need to look to Him and trust Him. When I do this the journey may not be easier, but at least I know that I am following my God and not the lost world.